What Now?

                      It’s the end – that disaster you have feared has come to be reality. You’re praying you’re ready but not feeling very happy or even very secure about how prepared you are to take care of your family. Yet, you also know you are more prepared than most folks you know. Then you get that awful sinking feeling… you know the one that wakes you up in the dead of the first night… the one where you realize that you spent a lot of time trying to warn others and trying to make them understand the importance of putting at least something, anything aside for just such an emergency. That sinking feeling is because you KNOW most of them did not listen to or give any credence to anything you tried to tell them. So now what?

                                      How many of those folks will be showing up at your door? Will you open the door or do you yell from behind a closed door to go away? Did you tell them about everything you had so they will not leave without you giving them at least some of your preps? Or worse… are they the type who will take it violently forcibly from you? Maybe like my husband you have a soft heart and can’t refuse to feed hungry children. Yet even this gentle man has stated that his own family will come first before he takes in more. Now the question is at what point do we harden our hearts to feeding others, helping them. Have you thought ahead about any of this? Have you planned any rules for those you don’t want or can’t turn away? More importantly, when would you discuss any of those rules? Most would need to be discussed ahead of time so that there were no surprises later for anyone.

Basic rules should include for everyone to empty whatever stores or food and cleansers they have and bring them along with clothing and beddings. Seems pretty basic but not all people think logically. Prescriptions and personal clothing and bedding can be kept personal but once they enter your home, everything else would need to be considered payment for taking them in. Obviously this won’t be a rental situation but as much as are mostly loathe to a socialistic society, there will have to be a realization that we will all need to share equally. So that brings us to the next rule.

Everyone will need to help out, to work together. Chores will need to be divided as to each person’s strengths and weaknesses. Cleaning will be very important in order to not have a bacteria Petri dish situation. That means clean kitchen and clean bathroom facilities too. Laundry would probably not be a daily occurrence so it will need lots of helpers too. In our situation, we have animals and chickens to care for also in addition to very large garden that would need lots of helpers! Naturally those small children will need supervision and education depending on how life is being lived at the moment. Hopefully someone steps up as a worthy spiritual leader too.

No one wants to think in terms of zombies at the door or other monsters but what if? If the situation has gotten to the point of rioting or looting, then security will become a major issue too. How you choose to handle that will be a major point of discussion left to others to debate with you. I am not a weapons expert and certainly have never been in a combat situation o I am not one to debate those issues here.

Up to now I have been relying on my husband and four sons (adults) to do much of the physical heavy stuff such as building hutches and coops. I do most of the cleaning and I so most of the gardening work with my husband’s guidance and experience talking me through what I haven’t done before. Both of us do kitchen work of all type including the cleaning and the cooking and shopping for supplies. My sons and my husband also fish and hunt to provide additional food for the family. My sons have come a great distance in learning what items will be needed if any emergency arises so they scout wisely at auctions, garage sales, and thrift stores. Finally everyone has realized that there has to be one main boss – in our patriarchal family, that’s the dad. It cannot be a democracy because I guarantee there would be too many disagreements, especially within non-family members. Fortunately for our family everyone pretty much agrees with one another on main points so we will survive without the additional headaches that some of you may face. We have already decided on helping certain extended family and even a few close friends who are aware that we will help them. They also understand what we expect of them, what we expect them to contribute to our plan. Because of our personal circumstances we will most likely stay in our home with no plan to “bug out” to elsewhere. For us there is no other place unless our situation and finances change drastically. Our plans mean adapting to whatever comes our way here at home. For others of you, you may fear something worse and are able to have another place to go to. That should and would affect the decisions you should be making now facing helping others or turning them away. But make no mistake – now is the time to think it through and make plans – not after things have fallen apart. Then will be too late – and the idea here is to plan in order to not make more stress than you need to deal with later!

Being Stress-Free and United

Today I want to talk about a topic that many want to discuss, often think they are discussing … but usually end up avoiding or changing the subject.  I personally happen to be a Christian – I have a strong personal belief and personal commitment but do not want to use this blog to convert anyone per se. Do I think everyone should have a personal relationship with the Lord? Yes, of course! Am I willing to discuss my personal beliefs? Also a big yes – and for anyone who has questions, email me and we can open a dialogue – BUT – I am aware that many folks have their own personal beliefs and doctrines they hold true to. Some of you may also be agnostic or atheists.  That’s fine too. However being prepared is more than simply buying lots of weapons or buying lots of camping supplies or food. More important than all of this is to be prepared spiritually and psychologically for what will be happening. Therefore it is important to know that you are doing your best to be preparing spiritually. If in fact this will be TEOTWAWKI, then it is reality that not all of us will survive either due to starvation or to war or to disease. Are you ready to die physically if you have not prepared spiritually? In my opinion the spiritual aspect is too important to be ignored. But it is not the only angle to be concerned about. We also need to address any phobias or psychological issues with prepping too.

It has been said that man is a social creature, that no one can survive alone. We all seem to seek out that someone special or at least a good companion. Not all relationships are sexual in nature. Having someone you know personally to share with, to laugh or cry with, to talk about deepest feelings and fears as well as joys with, is an important part of our nature. When one is left adrift with no one else, some of those emotions can begin to tip off kilter into dangerous emotions. We begin to see those folks writing manifestos or acting strangely or perhaps breaking mentally completely. Most of our known psychological conditions involve how we relate to others.  Talking to likeminded folks on the internet is not enough. In certain scenarios, there won’t be an internet access later. Life won’t go on if there are no couples and families later. It takes two is a truism here! It means we need to give serious thought and time to those relationships around us. For those of us who prep or want to be more self-sustainable in our own lives, we know that having a relationship with another person takes work and time. Lust is a wonderful thing but long term relationships need to be based on many areas of mutual attraction and agreements. I realize those relationships change over time and we all hope and pray that they mature into a more loving and self-satisfying one. This sadly is often not the case so when one begins to prep, one had best be at a point of understanding those important people in your life. If a husband decides that for whatever reason he wants to move to outer where ever and his wife is a downtown city gal, this may not work! That means the two of you need to reach a comfortable point of agreement and compromise or the relationship will probably not survive!

On many forums we often read that one of the couple wants to prep, wants to store food or learn weapons, or buy more of everything – but the other half of that partnership is totally opposed. It amazes me how many couples are not on the same page. They seem to be at the point of not being able to even compromise on any of it. That makes me worry about how they approach many other issues in their relationship as a whole but I am not a marriage counselor by any means. Having a firm spiritual base is helpful for any couple. Having mutual beliefs and being able to then find areas of compromise will make all the difference in the world in any catastrophe. During a bad storm, it is not helpful for one half a couple to be frozen in place screaming or terrified while the other is attempting to save each other, other family members, and possessions. When the water is rising, it helps to have someone to hand things or children to who is standing on slightly higher ground. This holds true for mental preparedness. Couples should be able to share weaknesses and strengths. No one can do all the “heavy lifting” all of the time and feel at peace. The point of prepping or being self-sustaining is to find a place of peace in our lives, a place where we know that we are doing our best to care for ourselves and those closest to us.  It is not supposed to cause us more stress and more fear. It certainly shouldn’t be causing us personal wars or battlefields in our own home. Deciding to ignore what the other half of our relationship doesn’t agree to and instead look to outsiders in the form of prepping or survivalist forums or groups is not a recipe for peace and contentment. For this reason I want to impress the importance of any couple to find that common ground they can agree on while prepping. If your wife is not on board, it may be that she is trying to be a voice of reason. The same is also true if the husband is telling the wife no. One of the biggest areas of discontent or dissension is in the realm of finances and budget. Trying to prep on a limited budget can be extremely challenging in the best of times so adding the stress of over shopping for prepping is not the wisest decision. Neither is buying that cute goat or those rabbits when you can afford the feed and the hutches or anything else needed to take care of them. Let’s not even get into which of you is going to get stuck with the care of them!

Most religions emphasize to be in agreement with your partner in all spiritual matters. If you can pray together, you can usually manage to find that place of agreement and compromise in other areas of your relationship. It should be the same for prepping and being self-sustaining. Find a comfortable place for both of you – be united in your efforts, not arguing. If it causes that much dissension, dial it back until the two of you are again at peace with one another. Being prepared, being self-sustaining is all about eliminating stress.